Leslie Krivo-Kaufman – Yoni
It was one of those.
Sitting on the porch at a house show, subtly adjusting my arm position,
cigarette-less, attempting to feel like I’m supposed to be there.
Thinking slowly, not sharing just processing,
knowing the idea is that I belong everyone belongs we all belong,
but not quite knowing how to externalize.
It was one of those instances.
One of those less-than-moments that keeps us here.
We stood in the basement after you played, your name slid out of my mouth as a question while you leaned down to pick up a guitar cord.
“Hey. I’m Leslie (should I say Krivo-Kaufman?). I think you were my camp counselor like five years ago (should I say about or like?). Do you remember me? (should I say how are you? or thank you?), because I remember you.”
(and all I really wanted was to look you square in the eyes, feet planted on the ground, brushing off the sobering realization that I might be taller, and as I stare
find a way to tell you that you changed me
ask you if you remember telling me to read the perks of being a wallflower,
because I remember the little piece of paper that you scribbled it on as we rode a yellow bus.
Tell you I remember sitting on a bench by the camp basketball court while you explained
that harold & maude is a beautiful film about love.
Tell you, that you are the only person from that place and that time who stamped an impression on my transition into this marketing tool we call adolescence
and that as I reach the exit ramp, I want you to be there
or at least know that I am alive
that I put on my turn signal)
But I didn’t find out how to fit that in to the usual
“hey, hello, how are you, where do you live, I like your band, it’s been a while, I’m tired, do you come here often, where are you going to college, it’s a good thing you don’t know what you’re doing, glad to see you, me too”
I didn’t find out how to fit it in that parenthetical mess. Later, we stood in the basement. I processed as fast as I could, trying to make eye contact that could translate through space, music, and interpretation to come out in your mind as
Leslie Krivo-Kaufman, a Columbus, Ohio native, is a sophomore at the University of Pennsylvania studying Creative Writing and Urban Studies.